Philip Stott’s amusing wit!

“(a)The General, or Pragmatic, Greens [believe that there may be many different pathways to heaven, to that Green Utopia. Often share buildings with the Church of England];

(b)The Particular Greens [reject nuclear power as a path option – often converts from The Old Church of CND, which was strong in the 1960s and 1970s];

(c)The Particular and Strict Greens [reject nuclear power absolutely, and hold to a closed communion table of locally-produced ‘organic’ produce];

(d)The Peculiar and Pure Greens [reject nuclear power absolutely, and hold to a closed communion table of vegan, or even fruitarian, food];

(e)The Primitive Greens [reject all economic growth, and hold to a strict communion table of living in, and with, Nature. Use earth closets and grey water];

(f)The Trustafarian Greens [wealthy churches which view being Green as a Sunday life-style choice. Key Biblical text: “It is easier for a Prius to go through the streets of Kensington, than for a poor man to enter into the Green Utopia.” (The Gospel According To Charles: 19:24)];

(g) The Church of Malthus, sometimes called the ‘Creationologists’: [commune with animals and trees, and wish to reduce sinful humans to small relict, subsistence populations living with Nature. Key Biblical text: “The power of population is so superior to the power of the earth to produce subsistence for man, that premature death must in some shape or other visit the human race. The vices of mankind are active and able ministers of depopulation.” (The Other Gospel According To Thomas: 19:14)]; and finally,

(h) The Greens of The Latterday World [It is too late! We are all doomed, and we will burn with the Earth at Armageddon].”

I love this bloke; both right and funny!


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